Love has always been transactional, says Omawumi
Singer Omawumi has pushed back against claims that modern relationships are more transactional than past ones, arguing that the nature of exchange has simply shifted over time. Speaking on a
Singer Omawumi has pushed back against claims that modern relationships are more transactional than past ones, arguing that the nature of exchange has simply shifted over time.
Speaking on a Pulse podcast, the singer said women have always expected gestures from partners, but the form of those gestures has changed.
She contrasted secondary school and university-era courtship, marked by simple acts like buying ice cream and popcorn, with present-day expectations such as iPhones.
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Omawunmi noted that the term “transactional” is often misunderstood.
"I disagree because we women have had long throat since the beginning of time, you know, but our transactional was different because if it was all those like secondary school to university days of holding hands or crushing on a girl or a boy, you know, you just stay there, buy them ice cream and popcorn. But now, it’s an iPhone", she said.
She said some form of exchange has always existed in relationships and described mutual effort as a normal component of dating.
She added that when a partner gives her gifts, she makes a conscious effort to match that energy.
"Some sort of transaction has always existed. Therefore, the word "transactional" has a lot of power when used. If I'm dating a man who gives me presents, I always strive to equal that energy, so if you're feeling someone, I always encourage that", she added..
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The singer also addressed public perception of women in relationships, stating that women are frequently viewed as only receiving while their contributions go unnoticed.
She said some men pursue what she called “shiny objects,” and often go overboard in the process.
"However, the majority of people don't think that women have the same level of energy. They just see the women collecting. So men, they go overboard sometimes, just especially because some men tend to like shiny objects. And shiny objects, not the only person they like. So everybody is struggling to get that shiny object.”
Omawumi concluded by identifying consistency as a major problem in modern relationships.
She said effort tends to fade once initial attraction is secured, stressing that partners should maintain the same energy they showed at the start.
"And once you've finished obtaining it, you'll need to cut back on all the paparazzi you were doing earlier. No, no. You must maintain your energy".
